Adult Show and Tell

The story of "Amanda" and "Bobby"

Amanda told me how her son had been diagnosed with ADHD when he was only two years old because he was ill and still playing at the doctors office. Bobby was only a few months younger than my son so I had a child to compare behavior against to some extent. When Bobby was two and a half he came to live with us for a few months and he acted just like my son running and screaming and playing rough games. He seemed perfectly normal to me. He played hard when he was allowed to, but was able to bring it down when it was time for meals, travel or bed and followed directions as well as any child I have known at that age. For example if I said "Boys it's time to pick up the toys" both would look at me and say "but were having fun" and I would respond with something like "You can have fun again later, but now it's time to pick up the toys" and both boys would go ahead and pick up toys and put them in the toy box. He spent the night and weekends with us on a regular basis for the next year and a half or so and we never had any problems getting Bobby to do what he was asked and he never showed any signs of being anything but a normal little boy. He could sit and play with a toy or "read" a book or be read to with no more than normal interruptions like asking "what does that mean" for example. Just after he turned four Bobby, his grandpa, my husband and my son all came to visit me at work one evening and Bobby made a big announcement "I'm four!" at which point my son said "I'm more four, I'm four enough to go to school." Then Bobby said "No you and me are both the same four."

The next time he spent the night with us was his last visit sadly enough. Bobby was in pre-k and was on a medication for ADHD. He was a totally different child. He stayed up most of the night and was very aggressive with my son who he had been friends with since they were little bitty guys. Bobby no longer followed directions when asked. I had some projects lined up for the day and evening as I know that four and five year olds will find mischief if not set to a task for at least part of the day. I had bought some flowers for the boys to plant and Bobby said "No I don't want my hands to get dirty" when I asked him to help us plant them. I offered him gloves then he said "I don't feel like it." I was blown away by this. I grilled hot dogs and heated a can of chili since this had always been Bobby's favorite and he ate two or three bites got up and threw the plate of food on the ground and said he was done. I was so shocked by this behavior, only a few months earlier he had been the Bobby we knew and loved, but on that medication he was like a devil spawn.

When it was time for bed Bobby kept my son up until I made Bobby come in the living room to sleep. He still did not go to sleep and since he had shown that he could not be trusted to do the right thing in my presence I knew that he would not in my absence. It was two in the morning before he went to sleep and he was back up by 5:30 in the morning, just as full of vinegar as he was the day before. It made me sick when I had to give him that pill I felt was stealing Bobby's "Bobbyness" from him.

When I asked Amanda about it she said she thought he was acting better than he used to. I was simply to shocked to reply. Bobby was familiar with our rules and our expectations so that was not the issue in this case. Bobby should be going into the third grade now and I have only seen him once since that trip. I think of him and I wonder how he is doing quite often. I hope he has regained himself.